One of the first steps in finding ways to love others as yourself is noticing them. We have been given an abundance of Bible verses about loving others, so we can assume it’s important. When you do, you will see that loving your neighbor means being concerned about other people — seeking the best for them, and helping them in their time of need. Or stories about how one of these verses has impacted your life? What does loving your neighbor “as yourself” mean? "F.L.Y. No, because we are created in the image of God, whose primary quality is unselfish love. Understandably, they desperately want to escape a negative self-image. You might say, “But I hate myself” or “I hate my body.” That may seem to be true on one level. 2. Everything just has its own timing and there isn't anything wrong with us if we don't get there at the same time as another person. We can have it all. Enjoy. That clearly is not God’s desire. Until you die. Throughout God’s word, you find the concept of love, self-sacrifice, and self denial. Rather, in humility value others above yourselves, not looking to your own interests but each of you to the interests of the others” (Philippians 2:3–4). It’s pretty straightforward. After all, I am supposed to love my neighbor the same way I love myself. It's something based on choice. So get your Bible verse lists out and memorize one a day. I know this sounds like preposterous gobbledygook to an unbeliever. They know the depth of love and breadth of grace that flows out from them toward others wh… In a biblical sense, we must love ourselves as the creation of God, humbly serving the righteousness of His will. No. For God so loved the world that he gave his one and only Son, that whoever believes in him shall not perish but have eternal life. Loving yourself is the hard part…. God wants us to love ourselves and our identity in Him! Some are even self-destructive. That’s just something people read into the passage. So now faith, hope, and love abide, these three; but the greatest of these is love. He didn’t say “on these three commandments.”. We love because He first loved us. Related: Understanding humility—what it is, and what it isn’t. (Psalm 36:5), But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever. If we aren’t called to love ourselves, does that mean we should hate ourselves? Apart from God and His power, we are selfish, and loving ourselves comes much more naturally than loving others. They support this idea by pointing to Jesus’ command to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). Though conventional wisdom says yes, the real answer is much more complicated. Was Paul saying a husband can’t love his wife until he learns to love himself? Jesus simply said to love others “as yourself.” He didn’t say to love others after you love yourself. Have insights you’d like to share ? But mark this: There will be terrible times in the last days. Loving yourself certainly makes it easier to love someone else. Sign up to get 1-2 newsletters a month announcing new online Bible studies and more. As you will see, that’s not what Jesus was saying. Until you die. Many people think the Bible says they must love themselves before they can love others, but that is not what Jesus said. Will loving others ahead of yourself reduce your happiness or self-respect? English, Arabic (العربية), French (Français), Hindi (हिन्दी), Table of Contents The plot against DanielDaniel’s faithfulnessGod’s prophet thrown to the lions’ denGod saves Daniel from the Lions’ DenDarius praises God This page is also available in: हिन्दी (Hindi)The…, This page is also available in: हिन्दी (Hindi)According to the account in Genesis, Cain was the first child of Adam and Eve followed by Abel. Explain your answer. The first part includes inspiring quotes with images, the second part includes popular self-love phrases and sayings without images. But that’s not what he meant. It’s not a bar to measure yourself before getting into a relationship. Please remember that you have to love yourself first, before you can then love others. Real Answers. If you don’t love yourself in a healthy way, you will never be able to love others in the way that you should. Did Jesus say you must love yourself first? When Jesus said to love your neighbor, he wasn’t saying to love your neighbor after you love yourself. We will never sell or share your name or email address. One of them, an expert in the law, tested him with this question: “Teacher, which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” Jesus replied: “‘Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind.’ This is the first and greatest commandment. He demonstrated this love in the most powerful way possible when he sacrificed Jesus on the cross to die for our sins. Doug Britton, MFT www.dougbrittonbooks.com. Following are the Top-100 quotes on loving yourself, self-esteem, self-worth. Let me illustrate another way you could read into this passage — and be just as wrong: Imagine that I hate myself. It is part of human nature, part of what it means to be a human being. Leviticus 19:18 “You are not to seek vengeance or hold a grudge against the descendants of your people. As you will see, that’s not what Jesus was saying. The world tells us to love ourselves before we love others, but this stems from a selfish spirit and directly contradicts the Bible. But love is not selfish; it seeks the best for others (1 Corinthians 13:5; Philippians 2:3). He was simply saying to love other people. People will be lovers of themselves, lovers of money, boastful, proud, abusive, disobedient to their parents, ungrateful, unholy … (2 Timothy 3:1-2). (1 John 3:18). “And Adam knew Eve his…. 4. But the human love the Bible talks about isn't just a passing emotional state. Real Questions. Philippians 2:3-4 says, “Let nothing be done through selfish ambition or conceit, but in lowliness of mind let each esteem others better than himself. The scriptures tell us not to love ourselves, but to love others more than we love ourselves and put the interests of others above our own. *They support this idea by pointing to Jesus’’ command to*“love … Let’s look at another verse that helps us see this point. (see upcoming show time) YesNo. There are three things you can do when you want to make a commitment and find ways to love others. But as many wise figures have remarked over the years, it’s in fact only when you first learn to accept and cherish your own essence that you can find the peace of mind to be truly present for your loved ones — and for your own life. And the second is like it: ‘Love your neighbor as yourself.’ All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments.” (Matthew 22:34-40). He was talking about the reality that underneath everything else, at the core of our being — even under self-loathing or self-destructive behavior — we want the best for ourselves. (1 John 4:19) Many people think the “cure” to a poor self-image is to learn to love yourself. Roy T. Bennett. How can you love someone best by loving someone else most? (Ephesians 2:4-5). Forever. Do you need to love yourself before you can love someone else? “Do nothing out of selfish ambition or vain conceit. Throughout the Bible, we are commanded to love others—without being told to “love ourselves first.” For example: A new command I give you: Love one another. Sign up for Doug Britton's newsletter today. Home » Miscellaneous » Is the phrase love yourself before you can love others Biblical? Throughout the Bible, it is assumed that we love ourselves. If you want to fly, you have to give up what weighs you down. No. As the Bible says, “there is more … Is the phrase love yourself before you can love others Biblical? (John 13:34), Do everything in love. There’s a cliché saying that you have to love yourself first, before you can deeply love other people, be it your spouse, family or friends – assuming that we know different kinds of love. Doug Britton, Bible-based Marriage and Family Therapist, has helped hundreds of thousands of people as a therapist, clinical director of a treatment center, seminar speaker, radio cohost, and author of over twenty books that show how to apply God's truths in your daily life. (Psalm 52:8), The LORD appeared to us in the past, saying: “I have loved you with an everlasting love; I have drawn you with loving-kindness.” (Jeremiah 31:3), How priceless is your unfailing love! In fact, some people think Jesus said you must love yourself before you can love others. Note what he says in Acts 20:24, “But none of these things move me; nor do I count my life dear to myself, so that I may finish my race with joy, and the ministry which I received from the Lord Jesus, to testify to the gospel of the grace of God.” Paul also urges Christians to present themselves as a holy sacrifice to the Lord, submitting themselves to the will of God and not to selfishly hold on to the things of this world (Romans 12:8, 13:14). Instead, love your neighbor as yourself. No. When we are excited and secure in his love for us, we don’t need to try to find meaning by loving ourselves. Anything less than this is selfish and vain—and falls short of the … Once again, he wasn’t talking about feeling love. Since Jesus said to love my neighbor “as myself,” does this mean I should hate my neighbor since I hate myself? They think “as yourself” means you cannot love others unless you first love yourself. Matthew 22:39 reads simply, “A second [command] is like it: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” In popular circles this verse is often paraded as a text which teaches that we are commanded to love ourselves. Self-love has its place, yet we are happiest when we love God above all and focus on doing good things for others. In a world where hurt and pain exists at every turn and words can be carelessly thrown around, the need for loving our neighbor is extremely high. Read the story. Jesus could not be talking about an impure love of yourself because He would never say you should love yourself from a sinful perspective, motive, or desire. (Ephesians 5:29), When Jesus said to love your neighbor “as yourself,” he simply was emphasizing how important it is to love your neighbor, to be genuinely concerned for others’ welfare. In fact, some people think Jesus said you must love yourself before you can love others. It is to fully grasp and enjoy God’s love for you. Your love, O LORD, reaches to the heavens, your faithfulness to the skies. What seems to be more healthy is self-acceptance—that is, viewing yourself as a basically good person who is worthy of love, without needing to prove yourself or outshine others. In Mark 10:29-37, Jesus showed us what he meant by telling a story about a Samaritan man who helped an injured Jewish man. So much negativity about ourselves disappears when we focus on the needs of others above our own needs. The main reason we run into difficulties in loving others is sin, both ours and that of those we try to love. As a thirteen-year-old, I sat in the auditorium of a youth camp with mixed feelings. But those who have encountered the living Christ understand what I mean. 1 John 3:14 says, We know that we have passed out of death into life, because we love the brothers. Sign up for 1-2 newsletters a month announcing new Bible studies and more. The world tells us to love ourselves before we love others, but this stems from a selfish spirit and directly contradicts the Bible. (1 Corinthians 16:14), Above all, love each other deeply, because love covers over a multitude of sins. #3 Loving Others God's love is a gift to us; it's in us, but we need to release it to others through words and actions. They support this idea by pointing to Jesus’ command to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:39). Anger     Anxiety    Christianity    Counseling    Culture    Depression    Marriage    Money    Parenting    Personal Growth    Relationships    Self-Image    Small Groups    Temptation. Would you like to know more about God’s love? The alternative to loving yourself is not hating yourself. CBN.com-- Loving other people doesn't mean being "in love" with everyone. See reprint policy. If you don’t love yourself how can you love God and live a life to glorify him? Your strong love for each other will prove to the world that you are my disciples.” We are commanded to love one another as Jesus does. He would have said “on these three commandments” if that was what he meant. Dig deep within to demonstrate your worth. In fact, some people think Jesus said you must love yourself before you can love others. Remember that: Loving others starts with being observant. Peter upholds love to others and specifically adds that we need to deny ourselves from fleshly lusts that war against the spirit (1 Peter 2:11). In the years since then, through studying the Bible, Ive come to understand my misgivings better. When we understand God’s love, when we deeply know he loves us, we don’t need to focus on loving ourselves. Why or why not? Of course not. (Visit www.dougbrittonbooks.com.). (1 Peter 54:), This is the message you heard from the beginning: We should love one another. Click here to see what’s new on our website. Is self-hate the opposite of self-love? "LOVE YOURSELF" in the KJV Bible. Here’s how Paul put it: After all, no one ever hated his own body, but he feeds and cares for it, just as Christ does the church. The key to a positive self-image is to understand how much God loves you. When you accept and love yourself, you don’t need someone else’s approval or love, and you are likely to believe that you will find someone who you will love, and who will love you. "Love yourself first and everything else falls into line." Is it absolutely wrong to feel self-love (or to love yourself)? 1. A note on Loving Yourself ~ The Bible says: “Love Your Neighbor as Yourself” (See #1 above). Summary: Self-love, or loving yourself. Get our latest answers straight to your inbox when you subscribe here. We choose to care about another person's welfare, even if that person has hurt us, called us names, ignored us. We don’t need to worry about ourselves, God takes care of His precious children (Matthew 6:25-34). Notice that Jesus said, “All the Law and the Prophets hang on these two commandments” (Matthew 22:40). “Do not love the world or the things in the world. Visit www.dougbrittonbooks.com for practical, biblical, cross-cultural books, Bible studies, and ebooks. And as you do, you will attract others into your life who will love you without conditions. In this passage, Jesus said there are two great commandments, one of which is to “love your neighbor as yourself” (Matthew 22:34-40). Your Question (required) Would you like this question answered on our show? If loving yourself is not the answer to a negative self-image, feelings of inferiority, or sense of failure, what is? Summary: Self-love, or loving yourself — Did Jesus say you must love yourself first? Copyright © 2021 Doug Britton Books  |  Reprint Policy  |  Privacy Policy  |  To accept the use of cookies, simply continue using this website. The more we experience God’s forgiveness and love, the more we think of him and the less we think about ourselves. He was not adding a third commandment or a precondition to loving others. LOVE OTHERS. He did not give us a third commandment. The most loving thing we can do for others is love God more than we love them. John 13:34-35 TLB says, “And so I am giving a new commandment to you now —love each other just as much as I love you. Jesus came and paid the ultimate sacrifice for our sins — not because we deserved it, but because He was a living, breathing example of loving others well. When Paul wrote these words, he was writing about selfish, self-centered love—a type of love that is very different from the self-giving love God wants us to have. I am the LORD.” Self-worship is a sin. If you think you should love yourself first, you missed his point, Understanding humility—what it is, and what it isn’t, Knowing God’s love — How to be reconciled to God. (I’m sure you would agree it’s obvious this isn’t what Jesus was saying.). he said. This page is also available in: हिन्दी (Hindi). Many of us are disgusted with ourselves or our bodies. According to this passage, loving others requires humility, a valuing of others, and a conscious effort to put others’ interests first. Joel Osteen. LOVING YOURSELF FIRST (BEFORE YOU CAN LOVE OTHERS) Many people think the answer to a poor self-image is to learn to love yourself. Hosea 3:1 | View whole chapter | See verse in context Then said the LORD unto me, Go yet, love a woman beloved of her friend, yet an adulteress, according to the love of the LORD toward the … 281 Instances - Page 1 of 10 - Sort by Book Order Expand or Limit Your Search Results: All KJV books Old Testament only New Testament only Apocrypha only (?) Permission granted to print for personal use. As you love yourself you will realize what you deserve and create your own sense and definition of love. It’s a lovely saying for sure, but let’s try to analyze and find the answer to why it’s so important to love yourself first, from a very practical point of view. The speaker had just given an impassioned speech from Matthew 22:39 about the vitality of self-love and acceptance for our spiritual lives. Jesus being the prominent example of this and encouraging self-denial in that He says, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. But first let’s look a little deeper at the idea of “loving yourself.”. (Scripture verses are from the New International Version, copyright © 1984.) It may be possible to say something such as, “I love myself because God created me, and he loves me.” Or, you might say, “God loves me, so I am lovable.” However, this can be a dangerous road to travel since it’s easy to focus more and more on ourselves — our accomplishments, our popularity, our power, our wealth. I knew something wasnt quite right, but I didnt know what. If so, check out this online Bible study: God’s love for me — A personal Bible study on God’s love for us. Jesus was (and is) a superb communicator. Loving ourselves should not be an egotistical or arrogant thing but an appreciation of our existence by the grace of God. Here are 10 reasons why self-love is the best kind of love, and why it's important to love yourself first, before focusing on loving someone else. For if we love God most, we will love others best. I believe the popular teaching of self-love falls … Whoever does not love abides in death. Paul reiterates this principle of self-denial or not loving himself in that he sacrificed everything for the sake of the gospel and repeatedly risked his life for the sake of spreading the gospel. Both high and low among men find refuge in the shadow of your wings. In his letter to the Ephesians, Paul wrote that each husband “must love his wife as he loves himself” (Ephesians 5:33). Check out our Bible Answers page for more information on a variety of topics. The Bible also cautions us to not love the world, or what the world teaches. 2. Loving yourself before you can love someone else or can truly receive love is a lie. And when you love yourself and the things about you, only then can you properly share yourself to the world. We are saying that loving ourselves is a precondition to loving other people. God’s love for me — A personal Bible study on God’s love for us. Does God want you to hate yourself or feel bad about yourself? LifeTree Books Our Mission Author Doctrinal Beliefs Testimonials, Reprint Policy Newsletter Privacy Policy Seminars Contact Us. Demonstrate love by giving it unconditionally to yourself. Or so we often think. Accept yourself, love yourself, and keep moving forward. Should you stop trying to love others until you love yourself (or until you feel love for yourself)? And he wasn’t saying to hate your neighbor if you hate yourself. Let each of you look out not only for his own interests, but also for the interests of others.”. The phrase “love your neighbor as yourself” comes from Jesus’ answer to the question, “Which is the greatest commandment in the Law?” (Matthew 22:36). You can only love God and your neighbor as much as you accept and love yourself! Loving yourself is the practice of self-love, and it’s ongoing. Give your true self to the world and those around you. That would have nullified his forceful instructions to husbands to love their wives as Christ loved the church (Ephesians 5:25-32). Now that you love yourself, it’s time to begin helping others find the highest form of self-love of their own. 1. And the world is passing away, and the lust of it; but he who does the will of God abides forever” (1 John 2:15-17). You can't give the love you do not have. : (1 john3:11), Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth. But Jesus wasn’t talking about feeling love for ourselves. "Warm-fuzzy" love is easy -- until the emotion starts to fade, that is. For all that is in the world—the lust of the flesh, the lust of the eyes, and the pride of life—is not of the Father but is of the world. Copyright © 2020 Doug Britton. They think “as yourself” means you cannot love others unless you first love yourself. Forever. Humans are fallen creatures. There is not one … It is perfectly okay to be single and to love yourself. If anyone loves the world, the love of the Father is not in him. Your confidentiality is assured. The answer is to understand the depth of God’s love, mercy, forgiveness, and grace. Loving others is easy. If you don’t love yourself how can you love others? Bible Based. God doesn’t want you to go through life saying, “I hate myself.”. 40 likes. Don't miss out on new Bible studies! Loving ourselves may come naturally for some but loving someone else the same way may be more difficult. (John 3:16), But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions — it is by grace you have been saved. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. That’s why the Bible actually warns against self-love. Let’s look at the full passage: Hearing that Jesus had silenced the Sadducees, the Pharisees got together. (Psalm 36:7), Related: Knowing God’s love — How to be reconciled to God. The scriptures tell us not to love ourselves, but to love others more than we love ourselves and put the interests of others above our own. In fact, without realizing it, we are suggesting that to love yourself is the second greatest commandment, for we are saying it comes before the commandment to love others. We will never sell or share your name or email address. You will read more about enjoying God’s love later in this study. It's amazing how much of a difference knowing even one verse by heart can change you. 100 Love Yourself, Self-Esteem And Self-Worth Quotes 1. If we say we can’t love others until we love ourselves, we are essentially saying Jesus gave us a third commandment. He didn’t get a text “there’s a hurting man that you’ll see when you travel this way”. Introduction: Multitudes of people, Christians included, go through life feeling discouraged, depressed, and unlovable. The Samaritan first saw the hurting man. Top 20 Bible Verses-Learning to Love Others … Want to add more verses to this list of Top 20 Bible Verses-Learning to Love Others ? If you’re thinking rightly about God and yourself, you should not hate yourself, whether it’s during the pre-fall with Adam and Eve or the post-fall with the rest of us. Were Cain and Abel the first children of Adam and Eve. For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it” (Matthew 16:24, 25 and Mark 8:34-35). Your confidentiality is assured. Once we put ourselves aside, we can rest assured that the Lord will take care of us and provide for all our needs. You can't make anyone love you without loving yourself first.” ― Kemi Sogunle tags: giving-love, inspirational-quotes, love, love-quotes, loving-one-another, loving-others, loving-someone, loving-yourself, loving-yourself-unconditionally, real-talk, reality-of-life, self-love, truth, unconditional-love. I’ve been writing about the idea of “loving yourself.” Now let’s take a look at what Jesus meant when he said to “love your neighbor.”. (Genesis 1: 27; 1 John 4:8) This means that we are designed to show love for others. Loving yourself, giving grace, forgiveness, treating your body kindly, and resting are just a few ways to love ourselves. 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